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A behind-the-scenes look at Terranam Wellness & self-care tips for taking better care of yourself.
BY MARIA GARRIDO - 2 MINUTE READ
Surviving and thriving through personal hardship takes resilience.
Luckily, there are skills you can develop to thrive through the storm.
OVERCOME TO BECOME
Did you ever wonder what makes some people more resilient than others? Science says that resilience is made up of a combination of genetics, personal history, environment and context. The good news is that genetics is the weakest of those factors which means very few people are born strong. Instead, we grow into resilient human beings with experience and by setting ourselves up to thrive in challenging moments.
No one welcomes challenges with open arms. Yet at some point in our lives, we will all experience personal setbacks.
It’s only through exposure to difficulty that we learn to finetune and improve our resilience instrument. This certainly doesn't mean we'll get it right every time or that we'll walk through difficulties unscathed. But we must learn to acknowledge the power in the pain (see my earlier blog on pain). After all, it is the struggles that ultimately make us more resilient, not the successes.
Growing resilient is not about having nothing to overcome, but over and over overcoming.
Thankfully, this doesn’t mean we need to lead miserable lives full of mishaps and drama! There are things we can do to be become more resilient and embracing the times where we fail is one of them.
THE MESSAGE IN THE MESS
Many of us have an unhealthy relationship with mistakes. From the time we're children, we are wrongly taught that mistakes are bad. Once, at a primary school meeting, my son's teacher explained to the parents that she wanted our children to use permanent ink for maths class so they would learn to be more careful and not make mistakes. I was so appalled that I went straight to my local bookstore and promptly purchased erasable pens for all of my boys!
As adults, we celebrate courage and risk-taking only when it leads to glory and success. We need to unlearn this behavior and teach ourselves and kids that making mistakes is not a negative reflection or our future or of our self-worth. It is the only way to grow.
Failures are an opportunity to find the message in the mess. Instead of thinking “I royally screwed that up!”, shift your mindset and repeat to yourself “This mistake does not define me. It’s a sign for me to grow and ultimately, a guidepost to success”.
THE TOOL KIT
We all have that friend that just seems to have their sh*t together. You know, the one that no matter what life throws at them, they always land on their feet. That friend probably has these four things in their tool kit to help them better survive and thrive through hardship.
Perfectly Flawed
Most of us believe that success breeds confidence. But confidence doesn’t just come from knowing what you’re good at; it also comes from knowing and accepting your weaknesses.
When others spot our flaws, we get defensive; we’re not great at admitting weakness, even to ourselves.
Resilient people have holistic confidence. They know themselves deeply, accept and trust their own judgment, admit where they’re vulnerable AND love themselves anyway.
Phone a Friend
If you practice true self awareness and accept what you’re not good at, then you also know when it’s time to ask for help.
I am terrible at this! When my first son was only 1 month old, we invited my family-in-law to spend the holidays with us. In my overachieving mind, I was going to care for and breastfeed my newborn, handle guests, play tour guide, cook meals, etc. all on 3 hours of sleep! Needless to say, by day 2 the Christmas turkey was burnt, and I was in tears. I was delusional in thinking I could pull this off without asking for help!
Many of us are afraid to lean on others because it makes us feel vulnerable. But by knowing when and how to ask for help we build better and more trusting relationships, showing our authentic selves while giving others a chance to contribute.
Purpose
What is your personal purpose? By the way, this has nothing to do with your job. It’s about being grounded in your own truth. It’s about knowing your values, exercising your talents, all to give rather than receive.
Finding your own purpose is an evolving lifetime process but if you find ways to contribute to others in ways that reflect what you believe in and happen to make your heart sing, then you’re well on your way!
Creating Terranam Wellness is a part of my personal purpose.😊
Having personal purpose is a great compass for resilience, too. It gives you the courage to push through challenging moments, knowing you'll grow through the other side.
Jack & Jill be Nimble
Stepping out of our comfort zone is not easy but we need to practice chasing the opportunity instead of running from the threat that change entails. By adapting, we learn to plan for a changing future. But, it doesn’t mean we can predict what happens next.
This is where agility comes in. The lack of control can send us into a whirlwind of anxiety and worry. When we’re faced with uncertainty, it helps to breathe. In fact, any physical or mental wellbeing practice helps us build stamina to ride through the unpredictable.
When we come to understand life is full of both storms & sunshine, we stop waiting for the storms to pass.
Instead, we learn to dance in the rain.
SELF CARE TIP
Very few people go it alone. So, make a mental list of your go-to people, the ones you call on when you need help. It can be different people- not necessarily intimate friends and family- that you lean on. For instance, who do ring when you need advice? Who is your cheering squad when you need encouragement? And who has skills that fill your gaps?
And, don’t forget to step in and give back when someone needs your support, too. ❤
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