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BY MARIA GARRIDO - 4 MINUTE READ

Challenge societal perceptions of aging and skip joyfully into midlife.

NOWHERE BUT UP!

Turning 50 last year was awesome! If you haven't read my blog about the beauty of this milestone, check it out. I marked my half century of existence with a massive gratitude party for all the people I love and I'm still feeling the warm and fuzzies from it a year later.

But, 51?...mehhhh.

It just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Being the data junkie I am, I discovered a rational explanation for my blasé feeling... the happiness curve.

There are several research studies about wellbeing that point to a U shaped curve of happiness in people's lives. While the exact shape and timing of the curve may vary across different cultures, the general pattern is this:

Phase 1: We're tickled pink in our youth

Phase 2: We dip into melancholy in midlife

Phase 3: We rebound in later years towards great life satisfaction

I guess I'm smack in the pit of Phase 2.

As kids leave the house, parents age or pass on, relationships evolve, health problems creep in, professional lives go stagnant for some or made redundant for others, a lot of people my age find themselves asking, "Is this it?"

I stare at the bottom of this curve and think, "Oh, great. How long is this going to last!?" Well, ever the optimist, it's pretty easy to draw a positive conclusion. From here, there's only one way to go,

STRAIGHT UP!

PRUNING AWAY THE OLD

The happiness in the years ahead may come on its own, but I'd like to be prepared to embrace it in all its beautiful and bumpy glory. I don't want to be distracted by outdated beliefs or attachments that will make me miss all the fun.

Just as pruning involves removing overgrown branches from a rose bush to promote new growth, reaching midlife is an opportunity to let go of what's "old" in our lives. Time to drop what doesn't serve us and to release burdens that are weighing us down,whether they're unhealthy relationships, unfulfilling career paths, or self-limiting beliefs. It's a good way to start preparing for happier.

In a previous blog, I talked about breaking up with friends that don't bring you joy. That's always a good and courageous place to start. I'd like to deep dive another key topic that drains a lot of our energy and will need to be shed if we're going to ride the upward curve. ....what other people think of you.

Here's the thing, at 51 this week, I have come to a realization: I no longer give a sh*t what other people think of me! Shedding the weight of other people's opinons has been hugely liberating. All of those years and energy wasted worrying about what others might think, apologizing for everything, not fully speaking my mind for fear of rocking the boat, people-pleasing because somehow deep inside I thought that my worthiness was contingent on being a good student or meeting other's expectations.

What a waste of time!

For my 51st birthday, I'm gifting myself a huge box of self-acceptance with a big shiny red bow of confidence on top! At this point, I am who I am, roses, thorns and all. I'm pruning away the dried branches of other people's judgment and I'm done caring what others think of me. I will continue to live a life of dignity and kindness but if people don't like when I speak my truth or when I do things that don't match their preconceived notions of a middle-aged woman, it's not really my concern.

Woo-hoo!

MY BEAUTIFUL BUMPY LIFE

So, even if the number 51 doesn't excite me much, I'm going into this year with one intention, to break my own conventional ideas of a what a 50+ woman is.

When I feel the need to skip in the middle of rushing commuters (which happens a lot!), I won't hesitate to do it anymore.

When I hear a song that makes me want to shake while I'm walking the dog out in the woods, I will break out in full dance moves.

I will no longer tone down or hide my accomplishments for fear it makes me sound boastful. If I've achieved something I'm proud of, you better believe I'm going to shout it out.

You should too!

When my son's friends tell me I don't look 50, I won't smile politely anymore and say something stupid like "Well, 50 is the new 40".

Instead, I'll smile proudly and say

"Well, this is 51. Get used to it!"